008: Pure Again Daylight, Chapter 5

[beautifultragedy]

Fandom: Breath of Fire
Story: Pure Again
Summary: Very Bad Things happen when rogue demigods try to reverse time.
Warning: references to sexual abuse

From the Eyes of the Father

Garr, my eldest child, was kind of maladjusted to society. He had some blatant mental issues. He was never quite the same kid after his best friend killed himself, either. He insisted that Thomas had been murdered. Demeter, Nina, Rzalyn, hell, most of Queen Serra's court worried about his state of mind after that. He'd always been a little strange, and this seemed to tip him in the wrong direction. But he had a certain aura about him, and I always knew that no matter how unbalanced he seemed to be, there was a reason for every action he made. Even if he didn't let anyone but himself know those reasons.

Janus had a distinct case of middle-child syndrome. Garr was intensely protective of his little brother, and I was quite proud of him for that. He never failed to take care of Janus when he needed to, and even volunteered more than most older siblings would. Janus would do things that would baffle even Garr, though, and we all worried about him. I feared that slight insanity might be genetic by this point, as now I had two- although very wonderful- very odd children, and I was bound and determined to raise my third child, Sara, with a perfectly balanced mind.

I was failing miserably, I reflected, as I glared at the sobbing infant in my arms. "Oh, Sara, stop it!" I growled in agitation, knowing fully well that I wasn't helping her any. She just screamed all the louder. I, for the life of me, couldn't figure out why she was so fussy. I fed her. I burped her. I changed her. I tried to lay her down for a nap. I tried to play with her. I tried to just hold her. She wouldn't stop crying. Neither Garr nor Janus had been quite so temperamental, and Garr had been quite a little horror at times.

I jumped as the front door banged open, then shut. "I'm home!" I immediately identified which son of mine had just walked in. I wasn't pleased.

"Garr! Where's Janus?"

"School!"

I muttered an explicative in irritation. "You were supposed to pick him up!" I shouted down the stairs, raising my voice above Sara's, which was becoming increasingly difficult.

"I can't hear you!" I heard his reply, and then his heavy footsteps on the stairs. Several moments later he poked his head in the door. "Dad, are you beating her or something?" he yelled above his little sister. The distaste in his voice was nearly drowned by the volume by which he had to speak to be heard.

I scowled at him for the “joke” as he entered the room. He was quite small for his age, halfway to sixteen. His hair was slightly darker than my own, and reached just to his backside. His mother, Demeter, and I had all tried to convince him to cut it. He shied away from the sight of one of us with scissors as one might shy from a leper. He held out his arms, and I turned the infant over to him gladly. "You were supposed to pick him up from school," I said again, between Sara's sobs.

"I know. He had to stay after."

"Why?"

Garr shrugged and turned away, bouncing Sara in his arms. "Ask him when you go pick him up."

"What makes you think you're not getting him?"

He glanced at me over his shoulder. "His teacher asked me to tell you to go see her."

I groaned, half from dismay at wondering what kind of trouble Janus was in now, half from jealousy due to the fact that Sara had calmed down, and was nearly quiet. Garr had been holding her for less than a minute! "How did you do that?"

 "Do what?" he murmured, smiling softly as he dipped his face into one of Sara's fists as she tried to grab a hold of a lock of his hair.

 "Calm her down like that."

 He laughed a little. "You've just got to have an attitude she likes, that's all."

 "That's all..." I muttered in aggravation. "So, school."

 "What about it?"

 "Anything happen?"

 He chuckled and laid Sara in her crib- she was fast asleep. I gaped openly at him now. "Sorrow was terrorizing me with a pair of scissors, and Byron was egging her on."

 "Ah. Uh, how did you do that?"

 He pulled Sara's covers over her, and turned around and cocked his head to the side slightly. "Do what?"

 "Get her to sleep."

 "I told you, you just have to have an attitude she likes."

 "Bullshit. I've been trying to calm that child for two hours, and you do it in two minutes- not only calm her, but also get her to sleep!" I scowled at him slightly. "You cast Sleep on her, didn't you?"

 "Haven't learned it yet," he shrugged. "Hey, will you do something about my dear step brother-"

 "Byron's your step uncle, not brother-"

 "He's only 3 years older than me, he's my brother," Garr miffed, "and would you please do something about him? I caught him fooling around with my healing items again this morning."

I rolled my eyes. "Lovely. Which ones?"

“The vitamins and antidotes.”

I sighed heavily. It was especially important that he took those vitamins; Garr wasn’t only strange, he also had a propensity to illness. The most recent scare involved night terrors; he would wake in the night, screaming at the top of his lungs, ranting against some unknown assailant. Between Valerie and me, we determined that the problem was probably a deficiency in some vital element the body needed to function properly. Since he’d started taking them, Garr’s terrors became less severe and less frequent, but if Byron was tampering with them, he couldn’t take them. I didn’t trust my wife’s little brother. “I’ll replace them and have a talk with Byron,” I told Garr tiredly.

“Thanks,” Garr replied, and bounced back down the stairs. I was about to go back into Sara’s room- I had to make sure we had enough baby-supplies, like diapers, but I paused as I heard the door open and shut again, and my wife’s cheerful voice, "Ah! Hiya, Garr! I almost never see you around the house anymore. How's school going?" I heard Garr's muted response- even when I could barely hear that he was even speaking, his dislike of Demeter was apparent in his voice. I wondered idly why he felt that way. "I see. Well- really? Oh... tell your father before you go."

"Tell me what?" I tromped downstairs finally- he had his jacket on, and looked like he really wanted to be elsewhere. Demeter had cornered him in the kitchen, and I found it rather pathetic that his stepmother had to corner him to get him to say more than two words to her. Once again, I found myself wondering why he disliked her so.

Garr shrugged his shoulders and brushed past Demeter. "I'm going to Mom's for a bit. I hear she needs a bit of yard work done."

"Ah," I responded before Demeter did. It clearly irked her. "Are you staying the night over there, or-?"

"I dunno yet," he said simply. "I might. So don't wait up for me for dinner."

"Okay. Have fun; tell your mother I said hi." And with a grunt and a wave, he was out the door. Demeter sighed and turned to the counter, moving a random object from one place to another. "You're home early," I commented.

"Yes. I got a call from Janus' teacher and figured I'd better come home early."

With Myria’s influence in the world gone, technology of all kinds were flourishing at a rapid pace. Chrysm, as much as I found it distasteful, was used to power a wide array of machinery and other objects, magically infused and otherwise. One type of new technology that had sprung up were “telephones”, devices that used Chrysm to project a person’s voice through the mouthpiece of the telephone to the speaker of another. These objects were prohibitively expensive for most individuals right now, but they could connect citizens from one side of Wyndia City to another in only a few minutes. It was truly fascinating.

That was what Demeter meant when she told me that she’d gotten “a call” from Janus’s teacher. Most businesses had these devices, and all government agencies did so. I chuckled. "Any idea what he's done this time?"

"Well, far as I can tell, Ms. Broden is just upset about his daydreaming again." She sighed. "Oh, Ryu... This is so unfair. My brother's a sadistic twit-"

"Demi!"

"-my son can't pay attention in class, my daughter is so fussy. And Garr treats me like a wicked stepmother. I don't know what else to do! I've tried everything, Ryu-"

I stepped forward and embraced her, sighing. "I know, love. I don't know what's wrong, either. Although you might want to back off on the caring mother bit for a while. You know he’s still very close to his mother. He might feel like you’re trying to replace her.”

Demeter backed up a step. “Wait a minute,” she said in an aggravated tone. “Who are the ones taking care of him?”

I rolled my eyes, an extremely immature act but damned if I particularly cared at this point. “Irrelevant,” I said flatly, “and you know Nina and I decided that he’d do better in a complete household than with her alone.”

“It is not irrelevant! Ryu, she doesn’t have to deal with his moodiness and attitude-“

“He’s a teenaged boy, Demeter!” I gasped in frustration. “If you recall, we had quite a hard time with Byron when he was Garr’s age-“

“Because our own parents aren’t around anymore!” Demeter snapped. “What’s Garr’s excuse?”

“Oh, gee, Demeter, I don’t know. His parents are divorced, his father’s been married twice since, his current stepmother is overbearing with her efforts, his best friend killed himself a year ago, his mother is persona non grata here-“

I was about to ask her if I needed to continue when she chortled, "Oh! So that's what this is about!"

I felt my temper surging against its limitations. "Demi, Nina is his mother. You are not. I’m not telling you to stop trying, I’m telling you to back off. The more you try to shoehorn yourself into that role, the more he’s going to resist you. If that’s something you’re not willing to do, fine, but continue to expect him to be like this.”

“So you’re condoning his conduct towards me?”

“I didn’t say that!” I snapped, throwing up my hands in frustration. “When have I ever condoned it? I’m telling you what you might be able to do to help! I can only do so much by myself, Demeter.” I eyed her critically, and added, “It almost sounds like you’d rather Garr just change to your liking, instead of working with him to get along.”

For a moment it looked as though she wanted to slap me, but it was just a moment. "Fine," she snipped, brushing my hands off her shoulders. "We need to get going. Ms. Broden's probably wondering if we're going to show up."

"Fine." I grabbed my coat, doing my best to shake off the irritation that now seemed to permeate my very soul. It was so annoying that the very behaviors that Demeter complained about in Garr, she did herself. Except Garr's paranoia about Demeter was natural- it was clear to me that Demi was trying her hardest to be a mother to him, and he was probably feeling like she was trying to replace Nina. If Demi'd just back off with the motherly bit, I was sure that Garr would warm up to her more.

Demi, however, connected an issue I had with Garr- jointly with Nina, as he was as much her child as he was mine- and turned it into an issue about Nina. I didn't like that. It was almost as if she either didn't trust my love for her, or she was using my relationship with Nina as blackmail. But what did Demi expect me to do? Nina was Garr's mother! I couldn't just pretend Nina didn't exist. I was already going against Nina's own wishes and defaulting to Demeter’s opinions in how to handle his behavioral problems, such as his breakdown after his best friend’s death, thus really giving Demi more say in his upbringing than Nina had- what more did Demi want?

The two of us walked in silence for a good two blocks, until Demeter finally cleared her throat. "We need some time alone, Ryu."

"Ah."

"Without the kids."

"I know what you meant."

Demi sighed. "I just feel like there's too much pressure on us both, you know? We're living with two adolescent boys, a young child, and a baby. It's a bit much."

I chuckled. "Don't even complain about Sara and Janus. Not even about Byron. Not about Garr, either, because both of them are living there at your insistence, my love." I glanced at her to see her expression- she was smiling.

"I know. I know. But we never have any time for us anymore."

"Such is the penalty for having kids." Dear Ladon, I felt like an ass. I hated it when she did this. She talked down about the four of them- they were children and two of them were hers, to boot. I really wasn't pleased with any of them at the moment, least of all her. At least they had an excuse for immaturity. But I couldn't tell her so. I just wanted the arguing to stop.

And then there was Nina. If I was completely honest about it, I couldn’t really fault Demeter for being so hostile towards Nina. Demeter was ten years my junior, and she had been only sixteen when we met and were married. I expected to be forced to defend our relationship or ignore the naysayers, and I knew some of that criticism was going to come from my ex-wives. I wasn’t expecting Nina to be so hostile after we announced our engagement, though, and it took me wholly by surprise. Demeter tried to make peace with her; she tried so, so hard, it was heartbreaking and I eventually told her to stop. She wasn’t going to make any progress with Nina.

Demeter assumed it was because Nina was jealous. I hauled that out too sometimes, when we argued about Garr’s upbringing, but I knew that it wasn’t because she was jealous. She wasn’t even truly angry with Demeter, she was angry with me. She saw Demeter as a child herself. What I was doing was abhorrent in her eyes.

Nina eventually accepted it, and was reassured when Demeter and I somehow managed to present a healthy, happy relationship to the world, and loosened the noose a little bit. But the damage had been done; Demeter was convinced that Nina was an overbearing shrew and there was no possible way that Garr really wanted to be around her, despite his behavior never giving an indication that he did not.

That left me struggling to balance the two of them and a difficult adolescent boy who had no idea how to function emotionally. The stress of the situation was beginning to take it’s toll on me, again; I’d have to try to find another temporary solution, because the permanent one was to divorce Demeter and I’d be damned before I had a third failed marriage.

"You know, there's going to be a ball in a few nights, at the Palace."

It took me a second to realize Demeter was talking to me, and another to process what she’d said. I glanced at her again. "No, I didn't know." Which was rather odd, since I was one of the Queen’s advisors.

"Maybe instead of going to the ball, we could go out to dinner somewhere? Just the two of us?"

Demeter sounded painfully hopeful, pleading, and it killed me to do it but I shook my head in a negative. "Uh-uh. I'm sure Garr and Byron will both want to go, and Janus is too little to be left alone himself, let alone in charge of Sara."

"Would Nina be willing to take them?"

I outright laughed at that. Really? "Demi, you have no idea how hypocritical you just sounded."

She harrumphed at me again, and looked at the ground, watching her feet as we walked. "What about Valerie or Rzalyn?"

"I guess I could have Garr ask Rzalyn. I'm seeing Val tomorrow at work, so-"

"Great." Demi beamed at me. "I'm glad we're actually going to have some time to ourselves, Ryu. I think we both need it."

"Ah." That I couldn't argue with. I loved Demi dearly, but there was so much tension in our house. I had to agree with her, that without Garr and Byron, things would have been a lot better. I entertained the thought. If Byron wanted to leave, that was fine, but Garr- no. I wouldn't choose between my children, and if I just shoved him off onto Nina, simply because my marriage was strained- uh-uh. Wouldn't be able to do it. I loved her with all my heart, but she didn't take precedence over my children.

~*~

Janus was waiting outside of his teacher’s office when we arrived. He was quite happy, giving no indication that there was anything amiss; in fact, he seemed quite pleased with himself. “Mama! Papa!” he exclaimed as we approached, bouncing to his feet and running to us. I braced myself seconds before he slammed into me, throwing his arms around me in a hug, squeezing as hard as he could. “I wrote a story,” he said excitedly as I returned his greeting embrace, “and Ms. Broden liked it so much she wanted to show it yourself to make sure you saw it!”

Uh-oh… I didn’t like this, and a glance at Demeter showed that she didn’t, either. “Really?” I said. “Why couldn’t you show us yourself?”

 “She said she thought I’d forget. But I wouldn’t. I got a good grade on it, so I wouldn’t forget, but she wanted to make sure.”

Ms. Broden must have heard our conversation, because her office door opened. “Mr. Bateson,” she greeted with a slight bow, almost reverently. “Mrs. Bateson. It’s a pleasure to see you. Please, come in. Janus, please wait patiently for a few moments longer, thank you.”

My younger son whined and trudged back to his seat, and Demeter and I entered the office. “Please, sit down,” she said, the reverence in her voice still apparent. I swallowed my irritation at her demeanor and obeyed; this was about Janus, not about what my rank was or was not or if I commanded any respect at all anymore. Besides, I was used to people showing an out-of-proportion level of respect. Trying to reason with them about it, to get them to adjust their perception appropriately, was an act of futility.

 The teacher handed me a few sheets of paper. “Janus turned this in for his creative writing assignment a few days ago,” she informed us. As I started skimming his crude-but-improving, blocky print, she continued, “My concern is less about him and more about his brother; although I am worried about the impact whatever is going on has on Janus. I was hoping you could enlighten me and perhaps ease my mind.”

 Janus’ story told of two brothers, two princes. The Queen showered love and attention on the younger prince, who basked in it and flourished. However, because the older prince was only the King’s son, and not the Queen’s, the Queen hated him, and heaped mental abuse on the boy. One day, the younger prince overheard the things his mother said to the older Prince, and was scared for him. He confronted the older, asking him to run away, for he feared that the Queen hated him so much that she plotted to harm him.

 But the older brother refused, telling him that he wasn’t afraid of the Queen. He’d endure her hatred, he said, to ensure that she never turned it on his little brother, and that someday, the Queen would love him as her own; he only needed to prove himself worthy.

 The younger brother, moved by the older’s bravery, swore his allegiance to his brother then and there, and promised to stand by and help him when the time for the older prince to prove himself worthy of the Queen’s love.

 I handed the story to Demeter when I finished reading it; she had been reading over my shoulder, but I imagined she likely wanted to get a closer look at it. “That is quite disturbing,” I said, upset by what I’d just read.

 “Are you positive that Janus is modeling the princes after himself and Garr?” Demeter asked, her voice low and utterly horrified.

 Ms. Broden nodded. “I am quite certain. This isn’t the first time the princes have starred in his creativity. A year back, he wrote that the two princes had a commoner friend, and the older prince loved this friend dearly. But something horrible happened to the friend, and the older prince was driven into a deep, deep sadness that made him seem far away from everyone, and the younger prince struggled with fears that the older would join his friend in death.”

 “That’s… That’s Garr, alright…” I said, looking at the human woman grimly. “Why were we never informed of this?”

 “I apologize, Sir Bateson. I thought it obvious that Janus was working through his feelings about that ordeal in his own way, and I was positive that he’d share it with you two, being as close as he is with you. I thought that if you desired my input, you’d ask. And then he wrote this, and I didn’t want to risk that the assumption was false this time.”

 “It was false. Janus never shared that story with us,” Demeter murmured. “Ryu, what- why does Janus think that I-“

 “I don’t know, Demeter.”

 “Sir, Ma’am,” Ms. Broden said, on pins and needles and intimidated. “Is there some sort of trouble between you and Garr?”

 “No!” Demeter exclaimed, and I added, “We just had a discussion as we walked here about Demeter being overbearingly caring towards Garr. I have no idea how Janus is interpreting any of their interaction as abusive to Garr. It’s the other way around, if it’s abusive at all.”

 “But you agree with me that the two princes are clearly Janus and Garr.”

 “That is indisputable,” Demeter answered, looking over the story again, pained. “Perhaps he simply likes the caricatures and is reusing them, but that the older is only the King’s son and not the Queen’s…”

 “It’s still possible,” I said. “Their roots are already determined. If the older prince wasn’t the Queen’s son in his original stories, he still wouldn’t be in any new ones.”

 “I’ll talk to him,” Demeter said. “I’ll find out if that’s the case, or if this is a reflection of how he feels and why.”

 “I think that’s a reasonable plan,” I said. “Thank you for bringing this to our attention, Ms. Broden. We’ll let you know the outcome.”

 Ms. Broden didn’t seem satisfied with that suggestion; my feeling was confirmed as we stood to leave. “Perhaps you could talk to Garr, as well.”

 “Are you insinuating that I’m-“ Demeter started to protest.

 As I waved her to be quiet, Ms. Broden countered, “No, of course not. But if there is something going on in Garr’s mind that he feels is abusive, and he’s telling Janus about it- well, you know how teenagers are.”

 “I’ll speak to him,” I said. That was exactly what she was insinuating, but her excuse mollified Demeter enough to drop the issue. “Thanks again,” I said in parting, and ushered my wife out of the office.

 Janus bounced to his feet as we left the office. “So didja like my story?” he asked eagerly.

 I nodded, smiling, as he ran to me. I picked him up as I said, “I liked it a lot. It was very creative.”

 “What about you, Mama? Did you like it?”

 Demeter frowned deeply; Janus couldn’t see it from the angle he was at, and I shook my head sharply at her as she opened her mouth. She hesitated, and then said, “Of course, sweetheart. I loved it. You should write about the two Princes more.”

 The remark was ridiculously underhanded; fortunately, Janus took it as a genuine compliment and cheered happily in my ear. “Can I show it to Garr?”

 “I think I want to show it to Garr.”

 “Okaaaay… Sheesh, everyone wants my stories!” He plopped his head down on my shoulder, and I grimaced, guessing that he was out for the count and I was going to have to carry him all the way home.

 After a while, though, I was strangely okay with that. It gave me something to distract me from my mounting concerns about Garr. Even if Demeter wasn’t harming him- and I strongly doubted she was- if this story was to be taken at face value, he felt that she was.

 Even worse, Janus felt that she was. The older Prince hadn’t told the younger of the abuse. The younger had heard it happening himself. I couldn’t reconcile that with what I already knew of their relationship. Something was wrong. I just hoped I could find it in time to fix it.